The Clinic

When we were first sent to McMaster, we didn't know exactly what department we were being sent to. We arrived to the 3F clinic, a place where I had been once before with Avery to see a Pediatric GI. It has an interesting set up... 3 receptionists for 3 different areas of this clinic. Gastro, Cardiac, and Oncology. When I checked in with the receptionist and realized we were in Oncology my heart started to pound fast and hard.. and I felt this sense of panic.

You enter this large open concept room, filled with lots of kids play areas. Toys are in abundance, and the energy in the room is warm and inviting. We had arrived at a time when the place was relatively empty. We were ushered into a room with several Doctors and Residents and were told of the unfortunate news. I also lost my damn nose ring in that room and scoured the floor looking for it while I had tears running down my face. I guess it gave me something to do other than sit in the chair.

We were in that room for about an hour. And when we opened the door the room was buzzing with people.. all these little souls with bald little heads. Some with feeding tubes and some that looked as pale as death. Some that were exuberant and playful. I stopped dead and stood there.. watching over the room and seeing these kids hooked up to their IV poles getting their chemo treatments.. Panic turned into me being mortified and utterly sad.

As time went by while we were staying in the hospital for Lyric's first round of chemo, the clinic was explained to us. We were given a clinical nurse of who, looks after us the whole journey. Zrinka, this wonderful and positive lady. Lyric is to report every Tuesday and Friday to clinic when he is in his "resting" period (which is between chemo treatments). We have to arrive at the Hematology lab no later than 9 a.m., and then straight up the clinic. Shortly after you arrive in the clinic and you sign in Lyric's blood counts are all ready. All the other little souls arrive in the morning as well so the place is hopping.. lots of kids and parents. Grandparents and friends. Everyone there has been going for awhile, the staff and patients are close...like going to your fave coffee shop and they know what you want.. and ask how your dinner party was over the weekend.

Ive met some wonderful folks there, it's nice that we all have the same understanding and feelings about all that is going on. And I've shared my views on Naturopathic Medicine.. and some have actually asked for Jane's number. woo!

I ran into the Dad again today. She is having a rough time at night, and she is in so much pain she doesn't sleep. Her liver is so enlarged..... He was about to get in touch with his Naturopath in hopes he could suggest something to help her liver. He seems to be doing well, and is very strong.

We went to clinic today.. and for the second time we were actually forgotten. I guess we are too new and we aren't part of their routine! Lyric's counts were good.. his white cells are at 6.1, his hemoglobin (or red cells) are at 93! Which means he's been making his own and they are on the rise!! (It's good to have the white fall and the red rise!) and his platelets are at 27.. of which I was concerned with. On Friday they were 30, and on Saturday they fell to 16. That's when we had to go to Emerg for the transfusion. So I asked if we could get one today and they said no. We have to wait until he's symptomatic of low platelets or by Friday when we are back again if they are too low they will transfuse then. I swear.. if I'm back there tomorrow I will be growling at someone.

Lyric is having a hard time with the loss of his hair. He doesn't want to see his friends (except his 2 close friends who have been by his side the whole time) or even go to school at all.. not even to pick up his sister. He says he's embarrassed and is worried of how other kids will react and what they will think. I keep reinforcing that he will be ok, and that people won't care if he's bald. And that people will understand. I think it will take a bit to get used to then he may be ok once he realizes people won't care at all. Poor little guy.. he's so sad. But I will keep reinforcing every day. I even pointed out the other boys at clinic today who seems quite happy and they were bald!