Goodbye

Sad news everyone. The little girl 2 doors down passed away today. I had run into the dad and asked how things were and he said not good... we didn't get much more of a chance to talk because he had to run. Later in the afternoon I had noticed some hovering staff.. the Social Worker and the Child Life Specialist.. to help with the family to deal with the anguish. Then trickling in was family and friends all in tears. I had to go to the washroom so I exited the room and felt this huge rush of grief and sadness come over me. The Social Worker must have noticed it on my face and asked how I was. I said it's a sad day... she said yes. And she said more so for you because your new to this.. I will chat with you later about it.. but for now you may want to stay away.

I walked away and tears started to well up in my eyes and I felt such sorrow for the family.. and that beautiful little girl. I also felt scared. Scared because what if that becomes me? How am I going to deal with it? Some thoughts passed through my head about maybe feeling some relief.. after all your child is suffering and in immense pain. They have fought a long fight to lose to this deadly and life consuming disease. To let them go would be so damn hard, but I know in my heart I would feel relief that they didn't have to endure the pain. The chemo. The throwing up. The life that is non existent for them because they live in a hospital room and they are not able to be kids.. they can't ride bikes, run to catch the ball, or even swing on a swing.

I didn't get a chance to say anything to the departing family.. I do hope they know that they did an amazing job as parents to endure what they did for their little girl and they fought as hard as they could. I wish them well for the future.

Let's get to some good news... phooo... that was a downer huh.

Lyric is doing fantastic today. No fever. His white cells are down to 2.3, red cells are up at 87 (thanks to the transfusion), platelets are now up at 47 (also thanks to the transfusion) and his absolute neuts are at 0. Which means he's hit rock bottom of his neutropenia. He has absolutely NO fighting power against anything in him at all. But the good news is that it only goes back up from here! Hopefully for a few days at least.

I did mention that we should be home Monday.. although at this point I am not sure. He already had an Echo cardiogram scheduled for Monday at 10:30 .. which is good cause we are here already. But Tuesday he was supposed to come back for his Bone Marrow test.. to see how his bone marrow actually reacted to the chemo. That will also be a determining factor to see if he starts his 2nd round of chemo this Friday. WHERE the hell did the time go?? seriously! I feel like we just got home! In fact I bought all this delicious food and I wanna eat it!! grr.. guess I will have to make a trip home at some point to get ready for our 2 wk stay.

Lyric seems to be doing better with his hair loss. Although I have been trying to encourage him to cut the rest off.. he's got barely any left and what he has left is in patches. But he wants to keep what he has. Oh well.. it's not worth the battle. It's just hair.

He seems to be walking fine now and hasn't complained of his leg hurting much anymore. The residual effect of the chemo must have taken care of most of that tumor. I'm hap hap happy about that!

Do you think I should sneak in a treadmill into this room? Seriously I need some exercise. I went from working out 3 days a week for the last 3 years to taking the stairs here at the hospital when I go for coffee... hmm.. maybe at night when he's sleeping I should also go for a run!